


Red Lips, Blue Lips

by sharedwithyou



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angstangstangst, Bucky Barnes Forgets, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Dark, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mindfuck, Minor Violence, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Triggers, childhood ruined, mostly angst, possible triggers, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7209992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WARNING: possible triggers; psychological trauma/warfare, repressed memories, general sociopathy<br/>DARK<br/>NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART<br/>POSSIBLE RUINATION OF A KIDS BOOK</p>
<p>He lifted his brow in warning this time, so you could take a deep breath before you were plunged face-forward into the deep once more.<br/>As you counted the seconds, like an Olympic underwater competitor might, a crazy memory crept into your mind.</p>
<p>The book your parents used to read to you before bed.</p>
<p>How did it go again?<br/>That’s right.<br/>One fish, two fish.<br/>Red fish, blue fish.</p>
<p>You almost laughed at the absurdity, of a childhood rhyme keeping you partially sane as you tried not to drown.</p>
<p>You went through the rhyme four times before you were allowed out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WHEEE and here's an insane fic for y'all dark lovers (or dark willing-to-read-ers)
> 
> WARNING: Possible triggers  
> psychological trauma, repressed memories, implied torture, ETC.  
> THIS IS A DARK FIC  
> PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION  
> AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION
> 
> if you don't want dr. seuss associated with a dark fic I SUGGEST YOU FLEE AND JOIN ME IN A LIGHTER FIC, SUCH AS A HAIRY SITUATION
> 
>  
> 
> for those of you still here, enjoy!! and leave me a comment below
> 
> XOXO Bucky the ANGSTFUCKER/MINDMASTER

 

 

“Climb the rope, (y/n).”

“No! It’s too hard!”

“You’ve been shot at before and survived. Pretty sure you can climb a rope.”

“The fibers look scratchy. And spiky.”

“You’re telling me the texture of the rope is what’s keeping you from climbing?!”

“Also I’m scared of heights.”

“You’ve literally been in burning buildings, hon. And also crumbling buildings. In fact, you’ve been in buildings while they are both burning and crumbling.”

“I don’t care. I’m still scared.”

 

“Maybe she’s afraid she’s so fat she’ll break the rope.” Tony was sitting on the bleachers being lazy instead of working out like the rest of you. Well, except for you, who was adamantly refusing to do the rope climb.

“Not helping, Tony.” Steve gave him a stern look before turning back to you. “Come on, (y/n). I know you can do it.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

 

“Here, let me try.” Ever the best friend, Bucky came over to assist his bro. “BOO!”

“Eek!” You jumped, but didn’t latch onto the rope as he hoped.

“How about this? (Y/n), if you don’t climb that rope, I’ll kick your ass.”

“You’re mean!” You cried, before covering your face and hiding behind Steve.

“Okay, this is getting counterproductive.” Steve commented, as Bucky shrugged.

“Okay man. Don’t say I didn’t try.” He wagged his finger at you before strolling off to do a million more pull-ups.

 

“(Y/n), it’s really about core. Not just upper-body strength.”

“I don’t want a science lesson, Nat.”

“Let me show you.” She hopped onto the rope and began expertly making her way up. “See how I’m not relying on my arms? I’m using my legs push myself up, and my abs to continue the motion. If you want to, you can use all your other muscles and let your biceps slack off.” She knew you were sensitive about your noodle-like arms.

“Hmm, makes sense.”

“Okay, now you try.” She made her way down in less than 3 seconds, before motioning for you to start.

“You know I don’t do well with pressure, Nat.”

She chuckled. “Fine. But I’ll know if you didn’t practice.” She turned with a toss of her magnificent mane and left you in the gym by yourself, the way you preferred to work out.

 

You hated sweating like a pig, bumbling around red-faced as you tried to exercise, all in front of an audience.

 

“Pretty good form.”

“Yeep!” You dropped out of an arm-hang and glared at the blonde intruder. “Thor!! You’re not supposed to be in here! I put the sign up outside!”

“Oh, is that what it was for?”

“It says ‘Do Not Disturb’, Thor. What do you think it means?!”

“Well, it usually means Tony is pretending to be asleep to shirk his dish-washing duties again.”

“Hmph. I gotta make a new one then.” Apparently Tony was so lazy he just re-used your sign. “Now shoo! I’m trying to get swole here.”

“If you’re feeling swollen, perhaps you should take a break.”

“Not swollen, swole!! It means- nevermind. Just get out!”

“Wow. It’s like I’ve wandered into the ladies room again.” Thor commented, before leaving you to wonder what exactly had happened when Thor went into the wrong bathroom last week.

 

“Okay, (y/n) you got this. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Well, there is, but you can get over it.”

You pep-talked to yourself as you jogged in place in front of the hemp monstrosity.

“The future is now. Or, the present is now. The now is the present. The now is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.”

You made a weird face to yourself; even you occasionally wondered what was wrong with you.

Well, you knew. But still, you had your moments.

“Today is Friday. Friday is today. Today I will overcome.” You stretched your arms over your head for the millionth time trying to psych yourself up to the challenge.

“I am ready. (y/n) is ready. I am (Y/n)-“

“Just go already!!”

 

You shrieked as a loud voice erupted from behind you. You whirled around to see Clint, hovering above the ground via grappling hook, smirking like the Cheshire Cat.

“Barton!” You barked. “You know the rules!”

“Someone has to come in to remind you the gym belongs to all of us. And some of us want to get our groove on before the century is over.”

“First of all, I’ve only been in here for an hour. Second of all, get your groove on is what you call having sex. And Tony already made a no-sex-in-gym ban after Pepper decked him for trying to kiss her on the bleachers.”

“One phrase can mean two things. Besides, sex is a form of exercise. So getting my groove on could be an umbrella term, including having sex.”

“Get out of here right now, or you’re never having sex again!”

“Oh yeah? And how exactly would you accomplish that?!” He taunted.

His smile quickly dropped when you made a scissors motion with your fingers.

 

Now that he scurried off, maybe you’d finally put this case to bed.

 

Left, right, left, right.

You breathed deeply, repeating your special mantra in your head.

Slowly, you stood on your toes and gripped the rope as high as you could.

One kiss.

You jumped and caught the swinging rope between your knees.

Two kiss.

In a swift motion, you extended both your torso and your quads.

Red lips.

From your calves all the way to your forearms, you wrenched against gravity, until you were six inches higher than before.

 

 

Just like that, you were back again.

 

 

“Higher, (y/n).” It wasn’t an encouragement or instruction. Just an order.

“I’m trying.” You wheezed as you looked down at him, 20 feet below. They say never to look down; but it only gave you a sign of how far you’d come. Looking up, it seemed that the ceiling stretched on forever.

“Try harder.”

You trained your eyes away, and managed to pull yourself up another foot, despite your muscles screaming otherwise.

“Good. Again.”

You looked down once more to count your progress; and somehow, even from this height, he might as well have been towering over you.

“I can’t.” You rarely said those words; maybe because he didn’t believe in them. Or maybe because if you even had another ounce to push yourself, and you managed, he’d never believe you again.

Really, though, it didn’t matter either way.

“Do it.”

You may have put yourself in a conundrum; if you managed another pull, your words wouldn’t have merit for weeks to come. On the other hand, if you couldn’t get yourself any higher, you’d be punished just the same.

Luckily, you didn’t have to make a decision.

“Fuck!”

Your arms gave out as you tumbled downwards, clenching your thighs barely in time to keep from splitting your head on the floor.

He stared at you for a moment, hanging for dear life upside down with rope burns on your legs, a bump forming on your forehead where it had still connected with the ground.

“I’m disappointed, (y/n).”

He rarely acknowledged you like that; with your actual name. You were a tool that needed sharpening; a rough wooden stake that needed sanding. Bit by bit, scraping away your layers, until you were the perfect weapon. And more than purely figuratively; for your very skin had been scraped away through one injury or another, time and time again.

Now that he had, though, it seemed worse.

“You know the rules.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, following his footsteps instinctively down the hall.

He didn’t grab you by the arm like the other ones; perhaps because he understood you wouldn’t run.

Being dragged back by the roots of your hair once had been enough.

 

“I hate this part.”

Normally, speaking out as such would make ‘this part’ last longer.

This keeper, though, seemed to tolerate a few more words than the others.

“Just think of it as training to hold your breath.”

The words of almost-guidance would have thrown you; but they were abated with the sudden violent motion that shoved your head underwater as you were mid-breath.

Your eyes burning, you tried your best not to struggle. While reflex was honed in every other aspect, it was best not to manifest during these moments.

For once, you focused your mind; counting the seconds as the pressure of his hand on your neck forced you lower into the tank.

This time, the spots hadn’t yet reached your eyes when you were pulled back up again.

He regarded you impassively, as you rubbed the water out of your eyes. It was then, that you noticed how handsome he was.

Somehow, as if the dunk had washed away your layer of protective armor, you saw his eyes changing colours in the dim light.

He lifted his brow in warning this time, so you could take a deep breath before you were plunged face-forward into the deep once more.

As you counted the seconds, like an Olympic underwater competitor might, a crazy memory crept into your mind.

 

The book your parents used to read to you before bed.

 

How did it go again?

That’s right.

One fish, two fish.

Red fish, blue fish.

 

You almost laughed at the absurdity, of a childhood rhyme keeping you partially sane as you tried not to drown.

 

You went through the rhyme four times before you were allowed out.

 

“I think that’s enough.”

It was rare to only have to endure the treatment twice. Still, you kept the gratitude off your face as you pulled your shirt collar up to dry your face.

When you could finally see properly, you found him staring at you once more.

Your heartbeat quickened as you noticed him start to bite his lip, his sharp canines nearly puncturing the skin.

He approached you slowly, and you stood at attention, your eyes following his.

You kept this stance even when he reached forward and sank those canines into your mouth.

It was almost ten seconds later when he pulled away and pushed you back in one motion.

He looked close to lifting his hand to strike you; even though there was an unspoken rule that punishments be methodical and measured.

Keepers weren’t to freely backhand the others. If corporal punishment was required, it was through standard canings or the like.

Of course, since keepers had no keepers of their own, these rules were sometimes overlooked.

This keeper, however, hadn’t broken that rule. Yet.

 

In the end, he kept his hands at his sides, and merely motioned for you to return to your cell.

“Speak of this to no one.”

His tone was harder than you’d ever heard it, but it wouldn’t have mattered.

And honestly, he should’ve known better than anyone; you hadn’t a soul to tell.

 

 

“I knew you could do it.”

You opened your eyes and saw the playboy billionaire applauding below you.

You smiled slightly, as instinctually as you let go of the rope with your whole body, save for your right arm.

“Damn! Only one hand? And you were scared to climb up there?! Psh.” He teased as you hung there lazily.

“It’s my mantra.”

“Oh, I see.” His eyes twinkled. “The Dr. Seuss rhyme?”

You raised your brows in surprise; that was a secret known to no one.

“I heard you say it once during your workout. Had to turn the mic on the camera wayyyy up to catch it.”

“Hmm.” You mused, as your body continued its routine.

“One fish two fish, right?”

“Not exactly.” You carefully wound the rope around your body, still holding on with only one hand.

“Oh really? What is it then, show-off?”

“One kiss, two kiss.”

He guffawed, but you merely continued the rope in its course, until it was encircling you.

“Red lips.” You slipped your body down, so that only your neck was in the loop.

“Woah, careful there (y/n).” Tony warned as he looked up at you worriedly.

“Blue lips.”

Then you let the slack fall from your hand, so you were just hanging in the wind.

 

 

“(Y/n)!!!”

 

 

“Higher, (y/n).” It sounded slightly warmer, after he’d been amorous to you for the past weeks. It should’ve lessened the load on your mind, but somehow it made things worse.

“I’m trying.” You wheezed as you looked down at him, 30 feet below now. He’d been pushing you more than usual, and somehow you’d managed to stay responsive.

“Try harder.”

You kept your eyes on him and stretched up one last time, feeling your strength fade.

“Good. Again.”

You looked down once more to admire his lips; and somehow, even from here, they seemed almost pressed against yours.

“I can’t.”

“Do it.”

You may have put yourself in a conundrum; if you managed another pull, you wouldn’t have your nerve for weeks to come. On the other hand, if you did it now, it would really be the end.

This time, you knew the decision you had to make.

“Your lips are soft.”

“Stop stalling and get up there.”

You smiled slightly as you pulled the rope from between your legs.

“One kiss.”

“(y/n).” Your name was cold as the water you’d breathed in for so long.

“Two kiss.”

“Final warning.” And he was generous to give such.

“Red lips.”

He shook his head in severe disappointment, and pointed down the hall to the room you’d gotten to know so well. You wrapped the rope around your body once more, and you were sure he thought you were coming down.

“Blue lips.”

You let yourself drop through the noose you’d created, thinking about what a shame that your lips would change color when this was all over.

 

 “Fuck!”

Your arms hung loosely by your sides this time, your thighs carefully detached from any sort of grip.

He stared at you for a moment, as you watched his form grow blurry.

And you hadn’t the air to tell you how disappointed you were in him.

 

 

It was bright again when you opened your eyes, but you were on a foam mat instead of in the snow.

You could also manage motor abilities with all your limbs.

Perhaps the sloppy training of the man before you was mitigated by not having to wrestle with the choice of letting you live. Or die.

That was probably why he was able to get you down from the rope faster than your keeper.

And why you didn’t need your heart jump-started by a bunch of strangers in costumes.

“The fuck happened to you, (y/n)?!”

“Pretty sure you saw-“

“No!” The Iron Man interrupted furiously. “The fuck happened to you before we found you?!”

“Enough,” you answered. And the protective skin of sane, well-adjusted, or just fucking ‘normal’ woman was torn off. “Enough happened.”

 

“Who did this?” His voice was quiet, but there was a fury to it that even your keeper would have been impressed by.

“He has forgotten by now. And he should; the past is the past.”

“Like hell it is.”

“The now is a present.”

“You lying here post-suffocation isn’t looking like a gift to me.”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“But not well. And the expression is alive and well. Not just alive.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” You almost laughed at the absurdity of the words. But they had a truth to them.

“Why are you protecting him?!” He stared at you incredulously. “Was it Stockholm’s?”

“I don’t know this man, Stockholm.”

“Forget it.” He pushed you back onto the ground when you tried to sit up; but still, the sudden motion didn’t feel quite so intrusive. “Were you in love with him?”

“Love?” You quirked your head at him, confused. “What is that even supposed to be?”

He shook his head roughly. “Give me a name, (y/n). Or a face. We’ll get a sketch-artist in here. We’re gonna catch this motherfucker.”

“As you said, forget it.”

“No (y/n)!” He put his hands on either side of you and leaned in close, to show you how serious he was. “We’re going to give that fucker what he deserves. And now that you remember him, you’re going to help us find him.”

“Punishment never solved anything.” As you had learned from experience.

“Well, it’s a start.” He sat up once more, and regarded you like you keeper had so long ago. “We have to get you justice.”

“I don’t need it.”

He reached forward to shake you out of your stubbornness; and you remembered your training, to hold your stance.

You guessed he recognized this, somehow, because he dropped his hands immediately after. “Please, (y/n).”

You peered at him from the ground, wondering why he was so insistent. “Why can’t you let it go?”

“It’s not possible.”

“It is. I have.”

He stared at you, with what seemed like a mixture of wonder and incredulity; and maybe that’s what your keeper had seen so long ago.

“Fine,” he relented. “Then do it for all the other people he has hurt.”

“He didn’t mean to-“

“Even if it wasn’t of his own accord; there’s got to be more than just you that he’s fucked with.”

You looked away suddenly, a sinking realization washing over you.

 

Perhaps there had been other women he’d placed those red lips to.

 

Maybe it should have been something else that propelled you to finally change your mind;

But somehow, it seemed fitting to betray him, if in some twisted way being with others counted as a way he had betrayed you.

 

“You really don’t want to know, Stark.”

“Trust me, (y/n). I do.”

You sighed, feeling a regret that you’d tried to tuck away seep into your being.

“It really wasn’t his fault.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

 

So you counted, the way you had before, the way you would to bring yourself to make the impossible happen.

To breathe underwater, to cheat death.

To climb a rope.

 

One kiss.

Two kiss.

Red lips.

Blue lips.

 

 

“I think you guys call him Bucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOOMMMMM  
> MIC DROP
> 
> give me a shout-out below!!!
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> poll 1: MINDFUCKKKKKKKKKK.... did you see ANY of it coming?!  
> HOLYSHITTTTTTT  
> it got REAL at the end
> 
> we're gonna assume that neither you nor bucky remember this... until you get triggered by the rope climb  
> like you'd been dreading it, but you didn't remember why  
> obviously bucky still doesn't remember  
> we can cover that in a possible sequel  
> if you got a little confused; happy lovely climbs rope --> remembers why she hates ropes ---> tony sees her climb rope --> she re-enacts her last experience of climbing rope --> tony saves her (again) ---> BOOM MIC DROP
> 
>  
> 
> poll 2: which part threw you the most?! which part was hardest to read?!  
> okay, that's kind of an obvious one. but the part when lovely is submerged in water was pretty surprising too
> 
> red lips ---> blue lips when you die, especially of suffocation
> 
> Perhaps the sloppy training of the man before you was mitigated by not having to wrestle with the choice of letting you live. Or die.~ the first time lovely hung herself, bucky waffled before getting her down (whether because he needed to be jolted out of machine-mode or because he wasn't sure if he should honor her wishes since it was a hellhole there... again i probably can cover this in a sequel if you guys are interested) so she suffered memory loss, and was presumably found passed out by the avengers...  
> so even though tony isn't nearly as perfect soldier-y as bucky, he got you down in record time because he's a fucking normal human being... yep
> 
> poll 3: SEQUEL?!?! and if so.... tony or bucky?!?!
> 
> i can't make any more random ramblings because this was too INTENSE.  
> leave me some love below!! i'll see you guys soon in probably a decidedly less angsty/severe fic
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker as always


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS FUCKING HARD TO WRITE.  
> it may be slightly easier to read than the last chapter.
> 
> actually, nevermind. i take that back. it's still hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was incredibly hard writing a sequel to what i considered a masterpiece, and a complete one at that
> 
> in the end, i saw how much my lovelies liked it, and so this next chapter was born.
> 
> i worked so hard on this, putting my heart and soul in it so it could stand up to it's prequel (or even stand alone)  
> keeping the voice, the tempo, and everything just right.  
> so please, please, leave me a comment if you enjoyed!!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker

 

“Here.”

“What?”

“Wipe yourself off.”

“I’m not bleeding.”

“It’s a wonder that didn’t happen.” Still, Tony pushed the towel at you insistently, so you took it and dabbed at your forehead, which was somehow hot and clammy at the same time.

“Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

“I’m not exactly sweating or anything.”

“Just-“ His voice came out frustrated, so he took a second to get it under control. “Let me help you, (y/n).”

You looked closely at him, taking in his furrowed brow and white skin. It was unnerving, how he reacted to what seemed like pure facts to you.

This should have been touching; you felt a sort of recognition of this at the back of your mind. But still, you stared uncomprehendingly at him.

“I can take care of myself.”

 

 

“What happened here?”

As usual, his voice was calm; it brought you no comfort as you scrubbed furiously.

“I don’t know.”

“Show me.”

You shook your head desperately, despite the dread prickling at your neck, and continued trying to clean the red-spotted sheets.

“Did you pull out your stitches?”

You rolled up your sleeve to show him your still-bandaged shoulder. He kept his face passive, but you knew there was confusion hiding behind those empty eyes.

“Then what?”

You shivered as the cold water of the trough seeped into your veins. Despite the pain in your abdomen, you kept your features neutral. Of all the emotions you were to keep buried, fear was key.

Carefully, you stepped away from the sink to show him what you’d been hiding under your feet.

 

His eyes widened slightly; you looked away quickly. To catch a keeper showing anything beyond controlled fury was practically a death sentence.

In the silence you could hear your heart beating; so you counted once more.

One fish.

Two fish.

Red fish.

“They haven’t fixed it?” His voice was curiously softer, so you darted your eyes towards him.

If you squinted, you might have detected something like compassion along the lines of his mouth. Or maybe just humanness.

“Is this the first time it’s happened?”

You nodded slowly. It hadn’t occurred to you to wonder why you’d stopped for so long; there were many other things to occupy your thoughts.

Like how to stay alive in this hell.

“You’ll have the surgery once your shoulder has healed.”

You lowered your eyes as acknowledgement.

There should have been terror in your mind as you remembered even the seasoned guards cringing for the women on their way to the ‘appointments.’

All that crossed yours, was ‘I hope they use anesthetic.’

 

“I’m sorry.”

You were convinced that his words were a futile hallucination from the devastation of the situation;

 

Until you felt his kiss.

 

Then he stepped over your stained panties and picked you up, placing you in the trough, so the water would stem the bleeding between your legs.

 

 

“I’m running a bath for you.”

You stared at him like he was insane, as Tony bustled around the bathroom with a loofah and a can of bath salts.

“Hey. There’s nothing wrong with a man having his own spa day.” Was his explanation to why he had all of those, and bubble bath in there.

“I’ll just take a shower.”

“Nonsense.” He put the stopper in the tub and fiddled with the faucets until he was satisfied it was running at the perfect temperature.

You stood stock still, more able to comprehend a situation where you had been sliced open by a crazed trainee wielding a cleaver than this current scene.

“One cap or two capfuls?” Your mouth opened but no sounds came out as Tony waved the bottle of bubble bath at you.

“Come on, (y/n). Everyone can benefit from a calming bath.” You were sure the shock of finding out his friend was basically a human trafficker had driven Tony balmy.

 

“I won’t be able to function until you let me at least make you comfortable.”

You didn’t know why he was taking the news this hard; you’d had it buried in your own mind for years, and yet you were perfectly fine. Relatively speaking.

“Just get in the goddamn tub.”

Somehow, the crack in his voice shook you more than everything you’d suddenly remembered.

You sighed.

“Fine, Tony.”

He was halfway out the door when you spoke again.

“I never take baths.”

“Well, if you’re not in there by the time I fetch that towel, I’m putting you in there myself.

 

As he closed the door behind him, you stepped your feet into the sweet smelling water;

and cried like a baby.

 

Tony moved robotically, pun unintended, to the gym to grab the towel he’d placed under your head earlier.

He couldn’t think, couldn’t move unless he did this one step at a time.

First objective; get (y/n) the towel.

Second objective; try not to kill Bucky.

As fate would have it though, he’d be confronted by both.

For in the gym, standing next to the towel and holding the makeshift noose you’d left there, was the man of the hour himself.

 

 

“What the fuck did you do.”

 

 

That night you tossed and turned, cursing yourself for the anxiety that was wreaking havoc on you.

After all the horror you’d lived through, one little procedure was keeping you from your much needed sleep.

If you didn’t get enough rest, you wouldn’t be able to complete tomorrow’s training to satisfaction.

Which would mean more punishments.

Unfortunately, this fact did nothing to quell the terror writhing in your stomach.

At five AM sharp, presumably, your keeper was back at your cell.

 

“I hate this part,” you whispered.

 

“I figured out why your monthly periods stopped.”

He spoke about this candidly, the way your father was never able to.

Then again, your father wouldn’t be the one pushing your head into the tank.

“When you came into the facility, they were testing vaccinations. One of them can stop your periods for up to two years.”

Apparently you’d been in here for longer than you’d thought. Facility was quite a generous term indeed.

“I’ve arranged for you to receive the shots once more.”

Your breath caught in your throat, as a sense of relief almost overwhelmed you.

It was the closest you’d felt to joy in, say, up to two years. Or even peace.

 

“Of course, this means you’ll have to make it up to me.”

You felt goosebumps all along your skin as a small smirk played across his face.

He motioned you towards him, and you padded over softly, uneasy.

His lips hovered over your ear for a moment before he spoke.

 

“One kiss.”

 

You tilted your chin up so your lips could meet, and you felt his arms almost circle around your waist.

It was like happiness was sickeningly just past your fingertips.

But before affection, or tranquility, there was first and foremost- survival.

So when he pulled away, you kept the smile hidden away.

 

“Make it two.”

 

 

“Did you rape her?”

Bucky didn’t bother lifting his eyes from the frayed edges of the death-trap Tony had cut down.

“No.”

“Then what?”

His voice was monotonous. “Everything else.

I did everything else.”

 

When Steve walked in, he saw Tony, fists bruised and bleeding, still beating on a motionless Bucky.

 

“He wasn’t unconscious. The fucker just didn’t even bother fighting back.”

You heard Tony’s voice outside, faintly, but you were too tired to respond.

You were pretty sure he was getting more animated about whatever subject he’d been rambling about, but the water in your ears made it hard to tell. You didn’t feel up to lifting your head out of the water.

Which was why you were surprised when he burst in and yanked you onto your feet.

 

“Tony, did you just break down the door?!”

“I thought you were drowning yourself!!”

“My nose was above the water!!”

“Oh.” He scratched his chin offhandedly; you noticed the blood on his knuckles.

“Is that from the door?”

“Nah. Got in a fight with you-know-who. By the way, next time someone says ‘if you don’t answer me in three seconds I’m coming in,’ you should probably answer.”

“I couldn’t exactly hear you with my ears in the water.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “You didn’t actually try to fight him, did you?”

“I whooped his ass!”

You sat back down into the water heavily. “I didn’t think the day would come when someone could beat my keeper one on one.”

“Keeper my ass. Call him Frosty. Hell, you’ve earned the right to call him whatever the hell you want.”

You ignored that comment. “You’re lucky I’m still in my clothes.”

“Right.” Tony had completely forgotten about the fact that people were usually naked in the bath. “Why is that?!”

“I told you; I don’t take baths.”

“Why?!”

 

You looked him dead in the eyes, and it was his turn to look away.

“Forget I asked.”

“Yeah.” You changed the subject quickly. “So where is he?”

“Solitary confinement. Until we can figure out what to do with him.”

“It’s just another few to add to his list of war crimes.”

“It’s not that simple-“

“Why not?” You gazed at him curiously. “There’s been so many things he’s done already; why is this suddenly so big of a deal?”

“Because!” He yelled so loud you nearly jumped. “You’re not just a victim!”

“Yes, I’d say I’ve recovered pretty well.”

He attempted to steady his voice. “You’re also a friend, (y/n).”

“So is he.”

“Damnit, (y/n)! Why are you protecting him?!”

 

And you watched the years flash by you now; the ropes and the walls, the knives and the bats, the water and the coals, the screams and the silence.

And through it all, over and over;

Your keeper’s face.

 

“It’s not because I love him, Tony.”

He peered at you, waiting.

“I just don’t want to hurt anymore.”

 

The foreign substance was back again, the tears running down your face.

He stepped forward, then, with a splash.

You felt the tickle on your left eyelid first.

“One kiss.”

A bitter smile broke out.

“Two kiss.”

He was kneeling before you now, waist-deep in water, as he gently caressed your other eye with his mouth.

“Red lips, (y/n).”

He put his hands around your neck; and it was better than you ever imagined between you and your keeper.

“Don’t ever let those lips go blue again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A;LSKJDF;AKLSJDF;ALSDKJF;ALDSKJF
> 
> GIVE ME SOME LOVE BELOW
> 
> RANDOM RAMBLINGS:  
> POLL 1: WHICH PART WAS THE BEST MINDFUCK
> 
> POLL 2: WHICH PART BROKE/TOUCHED YOU THE MOST  
> mine is probably when bucky puts lovely in the trough like he's putting her in the bath  
> of course, when tony steps into the bath with her, that's a close second  
> depends on whether you were more broken or more touched
> 
> POLL 3: THREEQUEL?!?!?! just kidding, i can't do it anymore; this will stay a two-shot forever  
> did this go as you thought it would?  
> also, tony or bucky?!  
> it was too hard to write in a large tony vs bucky fight (to the death/for lovely's love) so i think i capped it off pretty well
> 
> "everything else"~ i don't mean everything else sexually, i mean everything else bad that happens to prisoner trainees like lovely
> 
> i decided not to have lovely sterilized; turns out there's a shot that can prevent periods, so i went with that. the sterilization was too reminiscent of Black Widow and i wanted to keep it unique
> 
> GIVE ME MAD PROPS YO. THIS WAS DRAINING AS FUCK.
> 
> that's all this time lovelies; hope you enjoyed the crazy-ass ride!!
> 
> see you soon
> 
> XOXO Buck the Angstfucker/Mindmaster


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